If you were given a gift a month before your birthday, would you open it? How about a week before? A Christmas present at Thanksgiving? How about wedding gifts weeks before The Big Day?
This very topic was discussed recently between Kristi and I when we (she) ordered a gift for friends getting married in early June. The gift wasn’t “perishable.” Or something they needed to use immediately. But in Kristi’s mind, and most women I informally polled agreed, the type of gift is an afterthought. It’s the opening that counts. From what I gathered, if a woman is given a gift, you better put on shoulder pads and duck, because paper, tape and elbows are about to fly.
The alibi, they say, is the sheer volume of wedding gifts, for example, that force the couple to get a head start on thank you notes. Of course, no one wants to tick off Aunt Esther if her thank you note doesn’t arrive in the allotted time of Etiquette 101. And depending on your living situation, and preference, you may need a set of plates and forks for a few weeks, even if only one person is moving into a new house.
Still, this raises the question of willpower. Is it possible, or reasonable, to stack gifts in a corner, or closet, until the big day? Much less open something, then set it aside? As my friend Megan said, that’s not even an option.
“It wouldn't be possible for me to either not open it, or open it and not use it.”
Put another way, my friend Emily said, “We girls love our presents! Especially when they are big and sparkly or spa-y and pamper-y!”
If opening at the first chance, why set aside the big day as an official holiday on the calendar? Why not have Christmas on Dec. 19? Again, most women subscribe to the theory that opening gifts simply prolongs the celebration period. In my mind, it dilutes the meaning of the holiday.
As I’ve come to learn, a happy woman is a powerful and valuable thing. And not something you can measure, or put a price tag on. So by all means, let her open her gifts precisely when she wants.
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I will say that Christmas is a TOTALLY different situation. The tree must have presents under it, so all gifts must remain unopened until the big day.
ReplyDeleteSee, I disagree with you on the fact that it is a "woman" thing, because it is not. There are some men who love getting gifts as much as some women do, and women who could care less about getting a gift. It all depends on your Love Language. Have you ever read the book, "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman? If not, I HIGHLY suggest it for both you and Kristi. Every couple should read it, especially those who get married.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, your post applies to those whose Love Language is "Receiving Gifts." Every person has one or two top Love Languages. Receiving Gifts is on the bottom of mine. So when I get a gift, or when I need to give someone a gift, that means that it just really isn't a priority for me. I am not in a hurry to open a gift when I get one, and when I need to celebrate someone, giving them a gift is not the first thing I think about.
So in any relationship, it is important for a partner to know what the person's love languages are in order to help that relationship along. Thank goodness "Receiving Gifts" is not one of Jeff's love languages, but it is the top love language of one of my best friends, so with her, I have to really put effort into picking her out a good gift when I need to. With other people, I just don't normally care as much. Make sense?
Feel free to check out the Book's website if you would like to learn more. http://www.5lovelanguages.com
Kat, we've read several chapters of "The Five Love Languages." It's pretty interesting, and definitely something to recommend.
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