Man caves: Friends or foes?

To many, they are an escape to relax without the stress of smudging the coffee table. They come equipped with an easy access beer fridge. Fashion and décor are often traded for comfort and convenience. Not usually in the main living room, most are tucked away from regular guests.

Of course, we’re talking about man caves or mantuaries. One definition calls them, “a part of a home specifically reserved for adult male activities, such as drinking beer and watching TV; often a garage or den.”

Images of these usually are described by poor lighting, food stains, pizza boxes and general clutter. But not these at the DIY Network, some of the more sophisticated ones I’ve seen, which include poker tables, humidors and slot machines.

http://www.diynetwork.com/man-caves/show/index.html

The size and sophistication of a cave, though, should reveal plenty about the relationship. Mostly, those relationships fit in two categories.

One is the embarrassment category, which means the woman is so embarrassed to acknowledge the items that end up in the cave that she only allows them away from the main part of the home. She might recognize the importance of items – old newspapers chronicling sports championships, faded jerseys, or dust-filled trophies – but refuses to allow them into an area that would force her to explain their existence. Or they simply don’t complete the balance of a room aesthetically.

The other is the woman who enjoys sports, and might even help to decorate the cave (which could be a violation of the man code) but she likes it wrapped up in a cute little package. You can have your sports, she might say, but only in small doses on certain days of the week.

Then there’s the Kristi category. She balks at the typical definition of a cave and instead prefers to call them the “sports room” or “red and black room” substituting your favorite team’s colors. She also says the existence of a cave insinuates a man’s lack of comfort in the rest of the house. (This spins the discussion back to how decoration and arrangement of the rest of the house is divided and, well, we all know that general breakdown.)

My dream cave would consist of pictures or artwork of famous stadiums or fields, a collection of bobbleheads or other memorabilia and framed newspaper headlines.

My brother in law has turned his garage into a quasi man cave with a work bench, tools, radio, refrigerator, and at one point had a TV. My sister says he doesn’t spend much time out there, but, “it’s just the idea that he can.”

Put another way, my friend Brent said, “I think wives are probably OK with sacrificing a room in the house so they can send their husband there and get them out of the way.”

Check out the “official” man cave site here:
http://www.mancavesite.org/